Will I Ever Stop Looking Back??

I often wonder if the things I think about now will still be troubling me in five years time.. I can sit and dwell on the past, during that time I know I'm putting myself through extra stress and upset that doesn't need to caused however I can't stop my thoughts and feelings.

I admit, probably 70% of the things I think about are irrelivent and are things I do not need to be thinking about but my mind drifts and the problem is I allow it to and I think we all do. By no means am I saying I want to stop my thoughts I just want to detach myself from them, I want a thought to drift into my head and to slip back out, I want to accept it for what it is but I don't need to have any feelings or emotions attached to it.

What my problem is, is I dwell on the past.. On things I know can never be changed. I don't know why I do it to myself. It's just easy I guess, to sit and say to yourself what if this..and what if I never met.. and you get my drift. So I've decided to make some changes to my life, I began to do some research on attatchment, emotions, thinking, dreams etc.

I have began meditation which is really helping me. 'Meditation is a practice in which an individual trains the mind or induces a mode of consciousness, either to realize some benefit or for the mind to simply acknowledge its content without becoming identified with that content, or as an end in itself'. I have started of by doing it every other night, I set a timer on my phone and begin the mediation. I've started with five minutes but I want to gradually build on how long and how often I meditate. I mix between doing guided meditation and just simply being in silence, focusing on my breathing and allowing my mind to free itself. I am no expert, I just do what feels right for me. I am learning not only about meditation but also myself. I am trying to find things that allow me to feel relief from my thoughts, I am finding my own happines. I'm tired of relying on things and people for my happines, I just want to be happy from within myself.

My blog is also an escape for me, I don't care about the likes or views (off course I love the support I get) but for me its my creative outlet I guess, it's just a place where I can release my thoughts and feelings at that moment in time. I am going to regually be posting my journey here on the blog, so I will be posting updates on meditation, yoga, weightloss etc.

If you truly get in touch with a piece of carrot, you get in touch with the soil, the rain, the sunshine. You get in touch with Mother Earth and eating in such a way, you feel in touch with true life, your roots, and that is meditation. If we chew every morsel of our food in that way we become grateful and when you are grateful, you are happy.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Thank you for reading